Nisbat

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Nisbat

Consider the personality with whom you are affiliated to and ask yourself why have you not responded to the demand of the Nisbat?
Why do we continuously offer excuses? Once a person has linked himself with a Sheikh-e-Kaamil who is punctual on the Sunnah then he should maintain this Nisbat and make it stronger.
Let us examine our Aqeedat (faith) and Ta’alluq (link) to the personality and his mission.

Sir Sayyid Ahmad Khan Saheb and The Beggar
A qissah comes to mind concerning an incident from which one may learn a great lesson:
This incident concerns Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb, the founder of Aligarh College. (For some years now it is a fully fledged University.)
It was a hot summer’s day. Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb was relaxing on a couch in his room. A companion of his, one of the nobility of Hyderabad Dekkan, was similarly resting on a couch nearby. The nobility in the past would cool themselves by having a screen of sweet-smelling grass suspended in the room which an attendant would sprinkle with water on it while fanning them with large hand-fans. (There were no electric fans or coolers in those days). They were resting thus when Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb observed through the glass doors the arrival of a beggar. The beggar stopped at the well situated just outside, and laid down his knapsack. Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb commented to his companion, “This person is going to come here in the guise of a durwesh, but I will not give him even one paisa!” As predicted, the beggar, changed into the garb of a durwesh, came up to the door and knocked. His knock was ignored. As beggars tend to be daring and tenacious, the hint from inside had no effect and the knocking continued persistently. Finally, the attendant was told to open the door. The durwesh entered, made salaam and sat down. However, Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb, having seen that this was just an ordinary person who had merely changed into the garb of a durwesh, continued to ignore him. The durwesh, seeing his indifference, spoke sharply, “Do you not recognise who I am? I am that person who has
had the honour of visiting such-and-such a person! My eyes have been blessed by gazing at his radiant noor-filled face!”
On hearing this Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb immediately sat up. Asking his attendant to bring his cash-box, he took out a generous sum, got up from his couch, went over to the durwesh and standing respectfully before him, handed over the money. “Huzoor! Kindly accept this gift!” The durwesh accepted the money and left. The companion from Hyderabad commented drily, “Just now you were adamant that you would not give him a single paisa, but then you went and handed over to him a substantial amount!” Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb said, “Do you not realise what he said?” The companion replied,”He merely said that he had met a certain person.” Do you know the person he claimed to have visited? His companion replied in the negative. Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb explained, “The person whose name he took was my sheikh! When he took the name of my sheikh, saying that he had visited him, he was showing an affiliation (nisbat) to my sheikh. Heavens! Then how could I be so audacious as to ignore him and refuse his request?”

Let us stop to ponder and look at the qualities of those whom we consider to be dunyadar (worldly person). See the qualities that they possess! Note that the durwesh was not his sheikh but had merely claimed to have seen his sheikh. Only Allah تبارك وتعالى
knows whether he had seen him or not. These people are very professional. He may have extracted this information from somebody, as to who Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb’s sheikh was. But Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb did not cross examine him: When did you see him? Where did you see him? What was his appearance like? Describe his features and complexion. No. He did not delve into that. His attitude was: If I have no proof to the contrary, why should I consider a Muslim person to be a liar? Thus, he handed him the money and the beggar left.

To continue: Sir Sayed Ahmed Khan saheb, still addressing his companion, said, “It is a good thing that he accepted what I had presented to him. If he had told me to hand over the entire cash-box, I take a qasm (oath) on Allah تبارك وتعالى that, because of the nisbat, I would have picked up the entire cash-box and handed it over to him!

Ponder! This is a so-called dunyadar individual, displaying such qualities which ought to be seen in us who are considered to be deendar people. (For Friends v.1 pg.365)

Moulana Ilyas Saheb رحمه الله And The Tableeghi Jamaat

Take the situation of Moulana Ilyas saheb رحمه الله , the founder of the Tableeghi Jamaat, which has its centre (markaz) in Nizamuddin, Delhi.
When he passed away the Tableegh Movement did not come to an end, but was fostered by his son Hazrat Moulana Yusuf saheb رحمه الله who was also the son-in-law of Sheikhul Hadith Hazrat Moulana
Zakariya saheb رحمه الله . He propagated the movement further and put all his effort into it causing it to expand even more. When Hazrat Moulana Yusuf saheb رحمه الله passed away, the reins were taken over by Hazrat Moulana Inamul Hasan saheb رحمه الله , who was also a son-in-law of Hazrat Zakariya saheb رحمه الله and he too fully exerted himself in this effort, causing the movement to grow and spread, with fadhle-ilahi and taufeeqe-ilahi. Observe the sincerity, unity and love they had within themselves. People from outlying areas would come to the markaz in Nizamuddin, Delhi, in connection with the affairs of the Tableegh Movement. From time to time, some of them would visit me in Jalalabad as well. Once, quite a big group of people came to meet me. Surprised at their number, I asked them what was happening. They explained that Hazrat Moulana Inamul Hasan sahib رحمه الله had gathered in Delhi people from different parts of Mysore and Madras in the south of India. Every six to twelve months workers are called and instructed on how to go about the work of tableegh. This was the purpose for their coming to Delhi from Mysore and Madras.

The point I wish to make is that there is no necessity for them to hand out handbills because each individual is himself a handbill! Whenever an Ijtima is taking place you will not find any printed notices and handbills publicising the event, but Jamaats will go out to different areas, localities and towns. They will then make gusht, inviting towards the ijtima, and taking out with them newcomers in their thousands, to attend the Ijtima! At our ijtimas however, those of the Majlis Siyanatul Muslimeen, handbills and notices have to be printed and distributed, and even then, only a handful of people present themselves.

Similarly, they do not have to go around collecting funds, because they are a fund in themselves! They have many well-to-do people, millionaires and billionaires, who are jamaat workers. They themselves make their funds available on a continuous basis. It is not necessary for anybody to tell them to donate funds. They have dedicated
themselves with such sincerity that they have worn themselves out body, soul and wealth, in this effort.

As a result of this nisbat with Hazrat Moulana Ilyas saheb رحمه الله , with great compassion, courage and painstaking effort, Hazrat Moulana Yusuf Sahib رحمه الله , and, now, Hazrat Moulana Inaamul Hasan sahib رحمه الله , steered the movement ahead. (For Friends v.1 pg.370)

The Sahaabah’s رضي الله عنهم Nisbat
During the blessed lifetime of Huzoore-akram صلّى الله عليه وسلم , shortly before his demise, he had handed the standard over (the flag taken by the commander when proceeding for jihad) to Hazrat Usama رضي الله عنه and instructed him to proceed forth with the army. Hazrat Usama رضي الله عنه departed and shortly thereafter, Rasulullah صلّى الله عليه وسلم passed away. Consternation and panic set in among the Muslims with some tribes becoming apostate and some refusing to pay zakat. The Muhajireen and Ansar made mashwarah (consultations) over who should succeed as the head of state. Rasulullah صلّى الله عليه وسلم , besides being a Nabi, was also a king, an ameer and the head of a state. Thus, it was necessary to have somebody take over the reins so that the administration and application of the laws of Islaam could be kept intact.
Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه saw that there was much vacillation and uncertainty which was causing undue delay and thought to himself, “Who can be more worthy and deserving than Abu Bakr Siddiq رضي الله عنه ?” He thus took the initiative and took bayt at the hands of Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq رضي الله عنه . On seeing this, others also began taking bayt at the hands of Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq رضي الله عنه , and shortly thereafter, there was general consensus (ijma) of the Sahaba رضي الله عنهم on the khilafat of Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq رضي
الله عنه . (For Friends v.1 pg.378)

Hazrat Abu Bakr’s رضي الله عنه Nisbat
On the one hand, there were those who refused to pay zakat, and had to be brought under control and at the same time the army under Hazrat Usama رضي الله عنه was ready for jihad, while the Muslim forces in Medina appeared depleted. Hazrat Umar Farooq رضي الله عنه advised Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq رضي الله عنه , “Wait a while, make sabr. Do not, as yet, send any forces against those who refuse to pay zakat. However, if you insist on doing so, recall the force sent under Hazrat Usama رضي الله عنه , for they are still on their way and have not reached the position they were posted to.

Hazrat Abubakr Siddiq رضي الله عنه retorted, “0h Umar! What has happened to you? In the Age of Jahalat (Ignorance) you were very stern, and now you have changed and become very soft!
Hazrat Usama رضي الله عنه was given the standard by Rasulullah صلّى الله عليه وسلم and dispatched. Rasulullah صلّى الله عليه وسلم himself handed the standard to Hazrat Usama رضي
الله عنه . Its nisbat is with Rasulullah صلّى الله عليه وسلم . Are you asking me to separate it? That will never happen! If all of you decline to support me, then I will proceed all by myself!” Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه commented afterwards, “It was then that light dawned on me!”
Do you understand? We are speaking of nisbat. (For Friends v.1 pg.370)

Mere claims of love is not enough. Let us take stock!

Have I propagated the mission of my Deeni benefactor?
What responsibility have I shown with regards to my link to him?
What efforts have I involved myself in?
Did I train myself and impart to others his teachings?
Have I been steadfast and firm on his teachings?
Have I been obedient to Allah تبارك وتعالى with regard to imbibing the teachings in my life?
Even munaafiqs (hypocrites) claim love but the proof of love is through obedience.
The Sahabah رضي الله عنهم clung to the Nisbat of Nabi صلّى الله عليه وسلم .

Hazrat Umar’s رضي الله عنه Nisbat
Hafiz Ibnu Katheer رحمه الله has reported on the authority of Ibnu Abi Haatim رحمه الله that a strong and powerful person from Syria used to frequent the gathering of Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه . When he was absent for some time, Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه enquired about him. Those around replied: “O Ameer-ul-Mu’mineen! He is addicted to wine.” Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه summoned his scribe and ordered him to write (the following letter):

من عمر بن الخطاب إلى فلان ابن فلان، سلام عليك، [أما بعد]: فإني أحمد إليك الله.الذي لا إله إلا هو، غافر الذنب وقابل التوب، شديد العقاب، ذي الطول، لا إله إلا هو إليه المصير

From Umar bin Khattab to so and so. Peace be upon you. Before you do I praise Allah whom there is none worthy of worship besides Him, the One who forgives sins and
accepts repentance, Who is severe in punishment, the All Mighty. There is none worthy of worship besides Him. To Him is the place of return.

Thereafter, Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه instructed those in his presence to collectively make Dua for him, that his heart accepts this message and that Allah تبارك وتعالى accepts his repentance.

When the letter of Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه reached him he read it many times over and pondered over its contents. He then declared, “In this, I have been warned of punishment and at the same time promised of forgiveness.” Thereafter he wept and quit drinking. He made such taubah that he never returned to drinking.

When Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه was informed of this he said to the people: “In such situations you all should adopt the same procedure. Your concern should be to reform him when he is involved in any vice. Make him hopeful of the mercy of Allah تبارك وتعالى and make duaa to Allah تبارك وتعالى for the acceptance of his taubah. Do not assist Shaitaan against him (by ridiculing and enraging him, thereby causing him to go further away from Deen).” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, vol. 4, p. 74)
(Source: Alhaadi.org.za)

The Nisbat of Hazrat Khwaaja Saheb رحمه الله
Hazrat Khwaaja Saheb رحمه الله used to travel for 26 hours by train just to be with his sheikh, Hazrat Hakeemul Ummah, Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi رحمه الله for two hours and then travel back for 26 hours.
What was the reason? It was his strong Nisbat with his Sheikh!

Important Advice For The Saalik

The first step of the Mureed in the Path of Sulook is Sidq or sincerity so that the structure can be erected on a proper foundation. The Mashaa-ikh have said that people have been deprived of Wusool (gaining Divine Proximity) because they have destroyed the Usool (foundations). Thus, the first step is the rectification of belief which exists between Allah and man. Such rectification is obligatory. Belief has necessarily to be free of doubt, suspicion, error, innovation and should be established by means of absolute proofs.
Once the Mureed has solidified his belief with Allah تبارك وتعالى , then it devolves upon him to acquire a sufficient amount of knowledge of the Shariah. Such knowledge may
be acquired either academically or by enquiring from some Aalim. This is necessary so that one’s duties and obligations be correctly discharged.
When confronted by different verdicts of the Fuqahaa, adopt the one in which there is precaution. Always resolve to remain aloof from disputation.
It is then essential that the Mureed acquire moral character from a Shaikh. If he has no Ustaad, he will never attain success.
When he resolves to enter into the Path of Sulook, then after rendering what has been explained above, it is incumbent upon him to seek forgiveness from Allah تبارك وتعالى
for all sins. He has to abstain from all sin, be it zaahiri or baatini and be it sagheerah or kabeerah. Firstly, he must make his peace with those who have rights over him. The Road of Sulook will not open up for the Saalik who has failed to make his peace with the Ahl-e-Huqooq (people who have rights over him).
Thereafter he should endeavour to reduce his relationships and worldy activities because the edifice of Sulook is reared on the peace of the heart. When intending to emerge from relationships, begin with emergence from wealth, for wealth is such an object which diverts one from Allah تبارك وتعالى and inclines one to it. There has never been a Mureed who having entered this Path with worldly associations, remained steadfast. On the contrary, his worldly encumbrances diverted him, separated him from the Path and restored him to former connections
N.B. The meaning of wealth here refers to such wealth which is outside the bounds of the Shariah as well as such wealth in which one is engrossed more than necessary.
After emerging from wealth it is incumbent to emerge from jah (name and fame), for jah is a great obstacle along this Path. Nothing will the Mureed gain until acceptance and rejection of him by others do not seem equal. The greatest harm for the Mureed is the desire that people honour and respect him. Jah is a fatal poison for the Mureed.
When the Mureed has emerged from maal (wealth) and jah (fame), it is then incumbent on him to make a firm pledge to Allah تبارك وتعالى that he will not oppose any of the advices of his Shaikh. Opposition to the Shaikh is extremely harmful. Among the conditions of this pledge is that the Mureed does not entertain any objection regarding his Shaikh even in his heart.
It is then incumbent upon him to conceal his secrets from even his closest associates but not his Shaikh. If any Mureed conceals even the slightest of his condition, then indeed, he has abused the right of suhbat (companionship) of his Shaikh. If the Mureed realizes, either by himself or by having been reminded by the Shaikh, that he has opposed the Shaikh in anything, he should immediately confess his error to the Shaikh and submit happily to any punishment the Shaikh may prescribe. It is not proper for
the Shaikh to overlook the faults of the Mureed. If the Sheikh does so, he will be guilty of destroying the huqooq (rights) of Allah تبارك وتعالى .
Overlooking faults here means to refrain from calling the attention of the Mureed to such faults. However, there is no harm in the Shaikh forgiving the Mureed and not punishing him when he (the Shaikh) has hope of reforming the Mureed without meting out punishment.
As long as the Mureed has not renounced all associations it is not permissible for the Shaikh to prescribe for him any of the special formula of Thikr. It is incumbent upon the Shaikh to first put the Mureed to test. After having tested the Mureed and when the Shaikh’s heart bears testimony in regard to the firmness of the Mureed’s resolution, the Shaikh should stipulate the condition that the Mureed will resign with pleasure to the variety of circumstances produced by fate (Qadhaa) in this Path of Sulook. The Shaikh must take a pledge from the Mureed that he will not turn his face away from this Path regardless of whatever overtakes him, whether it be harm, disgrace, poverty, sickness, pain, etc. Furthermore, the Mureed has to pledge that he will not incline towards the ease advocated by the heart nor will he search for easy ways out at the time of hunger and need. He will not adopt physical comfort nor will laxity become his way. Concession (rukhsat) and laxity (kasl) in this context refer to those prescribed by indolence or one’s personal opinion. Such concessions and laxity are reprehensible. However, concessions advocated by the Shariah or adopted on the instruction of the Shaikh are not reprehensible.
It is extremely harmful for the Mureed to sit in the gatherings of the Fuqaraa and Ashaab-e-Tareeq in the initial stages. However, if some Mureed has indulged in this error then he should adopt the following method and attitude:
He should respect the Shuyookh (plural of Shaikh) and be of service to them. He should desist from contradicting them and he should act in a way which will give them comfort. He should refrain from any attitude which will create a barrier in the heart of the Shaikh for him. In the association with Fuqaraa it is incumbent to give preference to them and not to consider oneself a greater claimant to any right. Consider the right of every one in the group of Fuqaraa to be binding on you. Do not consider that you have any right over any of them. It is incumbent that the Mureed does not oppose any among the group. If the Mureed discovers that he (i.e. the Mureed himself) is correct, then he should maintain silence. This does not mean association in the baatil (falsehood) of others. It merely means, maintenance of silence after proclaiming the truth and not indulging in disputation. In disputation is the destruction of time and the clouding of the heart. Do not permit such differences to affect your other social affairs.
A Mureed suffering from the habit of excessive laughter, obstinacy) and arguing will attain no progress in this Path.
External abundance of auraad (specific forms of Thikr) is not among the etiquettes (aadaab) of the Mureed. On the contrary, this group (of Saalikeen) is ever engaged in eliminating from them khatraat (stray and evil thoughts and diversions) and negligence of the heart. Their occupation is purification of character and not abundance of practices. Faraa-idh and Sunan-e-Muakkadah are incumbent on them. They adhere to these rigidly. The heart remaining in a permanent state of Thikr (Thikr Qalbi) is superior than abundance of supererogatory acts of worship (Nafl).
After the Mureed has established in himself permanence of Thikr (the heart and tongue perpetually engaging in Thikr) and he has accorded solitude as a preference over publicity, he may experience certain supernatural occurrences while sleeping or while awake or in a condition between sleep and awakefulness. For example: he may hear a supernatural voice or he may experience the revelation of some metaphysical reality. If this happens, the Mureed should not pay any attention to it nor should he attach any importance to such events. He should not await or remain in expectation of similar experiences because all such events are diversionary. They divert the Mureed’s attention from Allah Ta’ala. However, it is imperative to notify the Shaikh of all such occurrences and experiences. Relating this to the Shaikh will free the heart from the encumbrance of such experiences. It is incumbent upon the Shaikh to guard the secrets of the Mureed. The Shaikh shall derogate the importance of such super-natural experiences. In other words, he will explain their insignificance to the Mureed because all such events are trials.
Contentment and pleasure with these supernatural experiences are in fact deception. The Shaikh should, therefore, alert and warn the Mureed about the danger of focussing the attention on such insignificant events. The Shaikh should encourage the Mureed to aspire for heights far loftier than such experiences.
Among the ahkaam (rules) of the Mureed is that he migrate to a place where he can be in the association of a Shaikh who happens to be a guide for mureedeen of the age. Such migration is necessary if the Mureed finds no such qualified Shaikh in the place of his residence. The Mureed should then remain in attendance to the Shaikh and not depart until such time that he obtains the permission of the Shaikh.
The Mureed should not entertain the idea that the Shaikh is ma’soom (sinless). However, he should hold the Shaikh in high esteem and if occasionally the Mureed witnesses any transgression by the Shaikh, he (Mureed) should not sever his ties with the Shaikh on this account.
However, should the Shaikh perpetrate acts of transgression in abundance, the Mureed should end his ties with the Shaikh politely, honourably and with respect. The Shaikh should also not command the Mureed to do such acts which constitute transgression (in the Shariah).
Among the gravest of calamities and misfortunes in this Path is companionship with young lads. All the Mashaa’ikh unanimously assert that the one who has become involved in such association (with lads), has in fact been disgraced by Allah Ta’ala.
Among the calamities for a Mureed is subtle and concealed hasad (envy) in his nafs for brothers along the Path. He should not envy any of his contemporaries in the Path if they have attained a distinguished rank while he himself has been deprived thereof. He should understand that all affairs have already been predetermined.
Among the aadaab of the Mureed is that he should not aspire for leadership nor should he desire that anyone becomes his mureed or student. If the Mureed, prior to the annihilation of the flesh and elimination of the calamities, entertains such desires, then in fact he is deprived of reality. His advice and instruction will not benefit anyone.
The structure of this Tareeq (Path) revolves around the protection of the Aadaab of the Shariah, on guarding oneself against haraam and mushtabah (doubtful things) and on guarding the senses against the prohibitions of the Shariah. The Mueed should also guard his time and not be negligent in connecting one’s moments to Allah. He should not regard as halaal even a grain in which there is doubt even in times of need, let alone in times of comfort and prosperity.
The Mureed is required to perpetually struggle in abstaining from lust and lowly desires. He who has complied with his desires has destroyed his acceptance (in this Path). The worst thing which can happen to the Mureed is his return to a lust or desire which he had shunned for the sake of Allah تبارك وتعالى .
It is not befitting the rank of the Mureed to accept the politeness of women. This has been the method of all the Saalikeen of this Path. When it is prohibited to even accept the politeness of women then to a far greater degree will its acquisition be forbidden. This has been the way of the Shuyookh. Whoever considers this an insignificant thing will soon be faced with affairs which will bring him to disgrace.
It is essential for the Mureed to keep aloof of the seekers of the world because their companionship has been proven to be poison. Allah تبارك وتعالى has said that one should not follow a person whose heart Allah has turned away from Allah ’s remembrance.
Ahl-e-Zuhd (the people of abstention, i.e. the Saalikeen) are in the quest of Allah ’s Proximity and in this endeavour they spend wealth.

Ahl-e-Safaa (the purified ones) in their endeavours to acquire the Companionship of Allah تبارك وتعالى expel from their hearts all creation in general, and acquaintances in particular. (Shariat and Tasawwuf pg.139)

Types of Nisbat
There are three types of Nisbat: Weak, strong and very strong.
We are all aware of the explicit order of Salaah but we need to assess our attitude and behaviour towards this injunction of Deen.
Firstly, many of us do not perform Salaah and do not fulfil the obligation at any point in our life. Secondly, when our Salaah is made Qadha, we delay fulfilling the Qadha which is a major sin. Thirdly, many are guilty of performing the Salaah at the Makrooh time. There are those who deliberately perform Salaah individually. Furthermore, if Salaah is performed with Jamaat then many of us are late for the Salaah, missing a few Rakaats. And even if we perform Salaah at the appointed time with Jamaat and do not miss any Rakaat, our Salaah lacks concentration. Sadly, this is our attitude and inattentiveness towards this important pillar of Islam.

Sir Sayyid Ahmad Khan Saheb and The Fraudulent Son-in-law
A person applied for a post to the governor during the time of British rule. In his application the person falsely stated that he was the son‐in‐law of Sir Syed Ahmed Khan. He was told to present himself for an interview on a certain day. Meanwhile the English governor sent a wire to Sir Syed Ahmed Khan wanting to know if the applicant was his son‐in‐law. Sir Syed Ahmed Khan realised that it was an impostor, but replied, “Yes, he is my son‐in‐law.” The governor, having established the applicant’s relationship to one so well‐known to the British, gave him an excellent post. During his leave this impostor ‘son‐in‐law’ arrived at the residence of Sir Syed Ahmed Khan who having never seen him before, did not recognise him. “Who are you?” he asked. The impostor replied, “I am that liar who passed himself off as your son‐in‐law to obtain a post with the governor.” Sir Syed Ahmed Khan said, “That is no problem. What I cannot do is get you married to my daughter to make you my actual son‐in‐law as you are already married. What I can do though is adopt your wife as my daughter as from today. So now you are, in reality, my son‐in‐law.” Hadhratwala رحمه الله told us that as long as he lived, Sir Syed Ahmed Khan treated this adopted daughter as his own. Whenever he called his other daughters home he called her too.
She and her husband received the same consideration that his own daughters and their husbands received. “He was a dunyadar,” Hadhratwala رحمه الله commented, “but see how faithfully he maintained this relationship. Such faithfulness is rarely found even amongst those who are deendar.” It is no easy task to maintain a relationship in a faithful manner ‐ what is called nibhahna. Young people do not observe this relationship in respect to their fathers; and mureeds do not observe this relationship in its correct context with their sheikhs. One finds that it does not take much for a person to feel offended, when suddenly, he abandons everything and off he goes. (For Friends v.1 pg.110)

Hazrat Hajee Imdaadullah Saheb رحمه الله And The Fraudulent Son-in-law
A young man once went around taking loans from people. The people acceded to his requests as that he incorrectly informed them that he was the son-in-law of Hazrat Hajee Imdaadullah Saheb رحمه الله whereas Hazrat Hajee Saheb رحمه الله was not even married at the time! When the news of the fraudster reached Hazrat Hajee Saheb رحمه الله , he exclaimed, “Very few people are taking benefit from me spiritually so if someone uses my name and gets some worldly benefit, why stop him?!”

The Incident of The Sheikh and The Kheer (milk)
Our Hadhratwala, Hadhrat Thanvi رحمه الله related a qissah:
A particular sheikh, one day, had a sudden desire for eating kheer (a dish prepared by rice being boiled in milk and sweetened with sugar.) but did not have all the ingredients available. Some days passed and it so happened that some milk arrived. The two khadims (attendants) who stayed with the sheikh, informed the sheikh, “Hadhrat! Some milk has arrived! We have some sugar with us, and we also have some rice. You had expressed the wish to eat some kheer. Therefore, grant us permission to prepare some for you. The sheikh replied, “Go ahead!” The khadims placed some rice in the milk and set the pot on the fire to cook. As it cooked the milk boiled up to the top of the pot, and the two khadims, not wanting the milk to spill over, skimmed off the top with a spoon and sipped it up. When the kheer was made, it was dished out in a plate, allowed to cool slightly, and then served to the sheikh. The sheikh scooped up a spoonful and brought it to his mouth, but stopped himself from eating. The khadims, watching, coaxed the sheikh, “Huzoor! After much longing this kheer is now available, and you are not eating it?” The sheikh replied, “How can I eat it?” I perceive the odour of theft emanating from it!

The khadims exclaimed, “Theft! But nobody came here! And we ourselves boiled the milk, and added the sugar and the rice. We prepared the kheer with our own hands!”

The astonished khadims tried very hard to reassure the Sheikh that nobody had come who could possibly have stolen from the kheer as they were present all the time. The sheikh was adamant and would not eat the kheer. The two khadims finally gave up, and fell into thought. Suddenly it struck them, Is it not possible that the overflowing milk which we had skimmed off and drunk without Hadhrat’s permission, that this is included in the category of theft? Immediately they got up and informed the sheikh, “Huzoor! As the milk that was boiling over, we skimmed the top and drunk it.” The sheikh replied, “This is exactly what I was referring to all the time!”
This is the way these personages speak! Their statements are innocent and guileless, sweet and charming!
However, the khadims had to be penalised for their error. This was not such a crime that it could not be forgiven. The milk was drunk, and that was it. But no! The purpose and object is islah for the future. At times an incident seems very trivial, but its underlying basis may be very grave. These personages do not look at the act only, but more at the underlying basis and the penalty will be according to that. (For Friends v.1 pg.405)

Ishrafe Nafs
At times when an item is obtained on the basis of ishrafe nafs, these personages consider this also to be haram. This ploy has become prevalent amongst friends nowadays. For example: Somebody goes up to his friend and asks, “Where did you buy this pen? It is lovely, masha Allah!” The poor person being addressed has a noble disposition. He is also a person of stature in the community. He realises that this person fancies the pen and wishes to buy one. He, therefore, tells him, “Dont be concerned. I do have another pen as well. Here, you take this one.” This person takes the pen.
Taking this pen is na-jaez (prohibited in shariat). Taking the pen on this basis is termed ishrafe nafs. (For Friends v.1 pg.411)

A Qissah regarding Ishrafe Nafs
A talibe-ilm (student of Deen) was studying by a buzurg Alim. One day, as he arrived for his studies, he noticed some signs of hunger on his Ustaadh’s face. The talibe-ilm sought permission to go out and said, Hadhrat, I’ll be back shortly. He went home, brought back some food on a tray and presented the food to his ustadh.
Huzoor! Kindly partake of the food. The Ustaadh replied, “Yes, I am hungry, but the moment you departed the thought came to me that you will bring me some food. This is Ishrafe-nafs. This is why I cannot eat it.” Not saying anything, the talibe-ilm took the tray and went away. In a short while he was back with the tray. “Huzoor! I am certain there is no longer any ishrafe-nafs, so please partake of the food now.” The ustadh replied, “Yes, the ishrafe-nafs is no longer present: there is no such yearning and anticipation left.” He was hungry, and ate the food. (For Friends v.1 pg.411

Hazrat Hajee Moulana Muhammad Farouq Saheb رحمه الله And His Commitment To the Mission of His Sheikh
Hazrat Hajee Moulana Muhammad Farouq Saheb رحمه الله with all his heart problems, annihilated himself for imparting the mission of his Sheikh, Hazrat Moulana Muhammad Maseehullah Saheb رحمه الله .

Demands Of Nisbat
1.To attain and establish Nisbat with Allah تبارك وتعالى is Fardh; it follows that the knowledge and method to attain this attachment is also Fardh.
Whatever is learnt from the Sheikh is also imparted.

2. Reality Of Nisbat
This is based on qabool (acceptance) and radhaa (happily resigning oneself to the decree of Allah تبارك وتعالى ) as an obedient and submissive lover who is showing his faithfulness to his beloved. It is also clear that a faasiq and faajir cannot attain Nisbat because of his lack of obedience and commitment.

3. Sign Of Nisbat
When in the company of a Sahibe Nisbat, you are forcefully attuned to the Hereafter and develop a repulsion towards the world. The other sign of a Sahibe Nisbat is that mostly Deeni conscious people incline towards his personality.

4. Effects Of Nisbat
You will find an attachment to Allah تبارك وتعالى and nothing else will interest you. You will resign yourself to the decree of Allah تبارك وتعالى happily irrespective of the situation.

5. Condition of Nisbat
Your life will be governed by the complete pleasure of Allah تبارك وتعالى always and not isolated occasions.

Examples of Incomplete Radhaa
We are all aware of the compulsion of five daily Salaah but very littlle importance is attached to this compulsory tenet of Deen. We are always late for Salaah, perform it haphazardly, deliberately allowing stray thoughts during the Salaah.

At the time of making the Zikr of Allah تبارك وتعالى we make warm feelings and conditions the objectives (kaifiyat) whereas the actual aim of the Zikr of Allah تبارك وتعالى is the pleasure of Allah تبارك وتعالى . The warm feelings and spiritual conditions are involuntary; if a person experiences feelings of motivation then he should make Shukr. However, the person who does not experience any of these should not give up the Zikr rather continue.

Once a person complained to Hazrat Hajee Imdaadullah Saheb رحمه الله about not experiencing warm feelings at the time of Zikr to which Hazrat Hajee Saheb رحمه الله
replied, “Is the Tawfeeq of Zikr not enough as a sign of benefit?!”

We sometimes fall ill but instead of being happy with the decree of Allah تبارك وتعالى , we will continue to complain, question and object to the decree of Allah تبارك وتعالى . You will often hear statements emanating from the lips of people: “Why me?” “Why did Allah تبارك وتعالى give me this sickness?” These statements are extremely dangerous for the Imaan of a person and also an indication of one’s incomplete Radhaa with the decree of Allah تبارك وتعالى .

However, on the other hand, crying and showing our weakness and feebleness in front of Allah تبارك وتعالى does not go against the demands of Radha.

Hazrat Umar’s رضي الله عنه groaning about his illness was not because he was unhappy with the decree of Allah تبارك وتعالى (Allah تبارك وتعالى protect us), but rather it was to attract the mercy of Allah تبارك وتعالى .

Procedure To Attain Nisbat

– Reformation of Zaahiri and Baatini actions
Example of reformation of Zaahiri actions: A person ensures that he performs his Salaah correctly and fulfilling all the postures as it ought to be carried out.
Example of reformation of Baatini actions: A person purifies himself from jealousy, malice, pride and all other spiritual maladies and adorns himself with praiseworthy traits like generosity, humility, kindness.
– Punctuality in devotional practices
For example if a person’s daily practice of Quran Tilawat is five pages then he remains consistent and punctual on this in all situations.
– Muhaasabah
To take stock of one’s deeds: At the time of going to bed reflect on your deeds. When recalling a righteous act, be thankful (make shukr), and when recalling a sinful act, be regretful. Remind your nafs of the rebuke and punishment of Allah تبارك وتعالى for sins and pledge not to approach sin in the future. During the day recall this pledge.
– Mujaahadah
The reality of Mujaahadah consists of the habitual practice of opposing the nafs (man’s lowly desire). In other words, to check and control the physical, monetary, egotistical and mundane desires, delights and preferences of the nafs in the pursuit of the Pleasure and Obedience of Allah تبارك وتعالى .
– Muraaqabah
To ponder and imagine death overcoming you and all that will transpire with you after passing away from the Ghusal till the burial.

Incidental Lapses
It will happen that at times some disagreement takes place between family members but we will not break family ties, rather we will examine and pursue avenues to patch up the differences; in exactly the same way for the sustainment of Nisbat, after our incidental lapses, we require to patch up our relationship with Allah تبارك وتعالى and fortify our contact with him.

Impact of Nisbat
We learn from the discourse of Hazrat Qari Siddeeq Ahmad Baandwi Saheb رحمه الله that
Moulana Ameenud Deen Saheb رحمه الله mentioned that in the era of Moulana Zuhoorul Islam Saheb رحمه الله , the founder of Madrasah Islamia in Fatehpoor, a Bangali student fell extremely ill. It seemed that he was now in the final stages of his life.

Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله went to visit him. On seeing Moulana, the student’s eyes filled with tears. Moulana consoled him and said to him, “Fear not, Insha Allah, you will soon recover.” Thereafter Moulana remained in sajdah for a long time making Dua to Allah Ta’ala: “Oh Allah! If a life has to be taken, then Zuhoorul Islam’s child, Atiyatullah is present. This student is a foreigner. He lives here and is entrusted to me. Oh Allah! Spare him and grant him good health.”

Within a short period, a message was sent to Moulana that he should proceed to his home immediately because Atiyatullah, his son, has fallen ill. By the time Moulana reached home, his son had already passed away. This was Moulana’s only child. May Allah تبارك وتعالى fill both, father’s and son’s Qabar with noor. Ameen.

Conclusion
Hazrat Hajee Muhammad Farouq Saheb رحمه الله has emphasized that it is Fardh to attach ourselves to Allah تبارك وتعالى . There is no compromise. We have the prescriptions. It is but a matter of implementation.