Maseeha[1] was a bundle of nerves. She had to literally hold herself down in her chair to keep from fidgeting. Her excitement was justified—the Nikah Khutbah was almost complete, and within minutes she would be united with her prince. This was the moment she had anticipated, prepared for, and dreamed of for as long as she could remember. Allah Ta’ala had accepted every Dua she had made for a righteous husband, even though it once seemed fanciful to imagine such a man existed. Her non-negotiables were perfectly met: a Hafiz of Qur’an, pious, disciplined in his Salaah, blessed with excellent Akhlaaq, and devoted to Khidmah. Even her “by-the-way” wishes were fulfilled—he was tall, handsome, gifted with graceful hands, and surrounded by a loving mother and sisters.
Her aunts and elder sister had drilled her on the dos and don’ts of the memorable first night, and she ensured everything was prepared to perfection.
Remarkably, everything unfolded exactly as she had envisioned. She felt instantly at ease with Hafiz Saab, as though they had known each other for years. The butterflies that had fluttered earlier now seemed to vanish. She was in bliss.
But her joy soon began a sharp and fearful descent. Despite his comfort in conversation, Hafiz Saab made little attempt at intimacy or physical affection. Was something wrong with her? Did she have an unpleasant odour? Was she not attractive enough? These questions tormented her as she prepared for bedtime—a moment she had been advised about, had made special preparations for, and had preserved her purity for throughout her life. Now, it was Halaal and a means of Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure. Surely this final piece of her dream day would fit perfectly? Sadly, it did not.
He refused to join her in bed or even come near. Instead, he performed Wudhu, opened his Qur’an Shareef, and began his Dhor. She was startled but tried to convince herself she was overreacting.
Within days, however, the truth emerged—a devastating reality. Hafiz Saab was impotent, unable to perform sexually. His condition stemmed from years of addiction to pornography and masturbation, introduced to him by friends at an early age. What began as curiosity had ensnared him, and the habit consumed his life. The addiction destroyed his future, his marriage, his honour, his dignity, and shattered the dreams of an innocent young bride.
The marriage ended before their first month together. All that remained were broken dreams of what could have been, and, a harsh lesson: masturbation destroys lives and marriages.
Tragically, such situations are becoming increasingly common in our society. Countless marriages are collapsing because men and women alike are losing their sexual desire, ability, and potency due to pornography and masturbation. Young and old, male and female, scholar, and layperson—all are vulnerable to this destructive addiction.
Shariah has strictly prohibited these practices for profound reasons. Our Mashaaikh have spoken extensively about the importance of protecting the gaze and the severe harms of abusing it. These habits not only ruin the addict’s life but also devastate the lives of those around them.
Insha’Allah, in this series we will explore the guidance of our seniors, the harms of masturbation, and its impact on marriages.
[1] Names and some details have been changed to protect identity and privacy.